01 Jul Your child, your choice
by Aimee Hart
As a school leader, as a mother, as a human in these trying times I’ve had to wear many hats and think from many different perspectives.
Having to make decisions comes with the job but there are times when you worry about the repercussions of your decisions. The world has faced a crisis. That is a fact. We’e spent the best part of spring behind closed doors or fighting on the front lines. Watching our government deliver news and comparing everything to other countries around the world.
Now it’s the schools’ turn for the scrutiny, the confusion, the worry and the decisions. I can confirm teachers have not spent the last three months sitting at home doing nothing. I can confirm first hand they’ve adapted their practice the best way they know how. Primary schools were’nt prepared for virtual learning in the same way as secondary school or other countries. We’ve never needed to have that up our sleeve. Our philosophy is children learn best when they’re in the classroom, around their peers or playing together and acting out scenarios to build experiences. Reception and nursery aged children cannot learn without play and without opportunities – an argument, I guess, for why they’ve chosen these children to return. Not that I agree, but neither do I disagree.
What we want is for science to tell us it is safe. All teachers want children back in schools. We want to continue our vocation and our love for teaching but only when we can protect ourselves and our cherubs. We will do what we can to ensure this happens. Each school has made the decision based on their needs and their families. There is no right or wrong answer and headteachers will be at war with themselves with every decision made. I have witnessed staff preparing the classrooms for our children, trying their best to keep the elements of school that made them feel safe this is a difficult task – not for lack of trying or not wanting to do the job, but to do our job but out of fear of that unknown.
Ok that’s the school leader in me done. Now for me to talk frankly as a parent. I am classed as a key worker and therefore needed to be in school supporting my staff and my community. That’s my role and I will gladly be there to do that. Evelyn will be classed as a key workers child and will be in school as much as I am. I don’t have a choice. Along with many thousands of other parents in the country. I know of families who are able to keep their children at home and doing so. I know of others who are able to keep their children at home but are choosing to send them into school. THERE IS NO WRONG ANSWER HERE. Everyone’s circumstances are different and we’re a varied nation. This is not a time to judge or be judged for what you decide to do with your children. Your child, your choice.
If I had options I’m not sure what my decision would be. But I’m confident schools will provide the best environment they possibly can. I have faith that when she steps in that door she will be greeted with a smile, encouraged to keep her distance and ensure her hands are washed regularly. We’ve discussed with her what Coronavirus is and how it makes people sick. She knows to keep a wide birth of people we pass when walking, so I trust her to make good choices and for the adults around her to determine what’s best.
The future of schools is uncertain. What it will look like in six months or a year is not known right now and probably won’t be known up until the moment it happens. As a school leader, my only hope is that the government listens to us and take on board what we tell them is happening or should happen. Some areas are not in a position to open right now, I back their decision as it is right for them. Each area, each borough, each school and its community is different and my hope is parents trust what we do as we’re doing what we feel is best. I want to provide some support during this time so below are some things to consider – no matter what your situation.
Back to school
• As hard as it may seem, try to appear happy with your child returning. They model feelings and internalise them without you even knowing. If they see you smile, they will start their day with a smile too.
• Talk to them about the day ahead and discuss how to handle certain situations. For example: let’s pretend you fell over and have a little cut, how can you fix it without Mrs Smith helping too much? If you see someone touching your water bottle what could you do?
• Remind them that although they cannot hug or hold hands with their friends they can still talk, wave, blow kisses, draw for each other or sing together. So many games can be played without the need to be in close contact.
• If your child isn’t in a group with their close friends they may feel sad or reluctant to go in. Ask them to be a detective and find out interesting facts about someone in the class that they don’t know too well. Get them to find things in common that will build bonds and talk about those children during mealtimes and so on.
• As a parent – try not to beat yourself up about the decision. Let your child know you love them.
Staying home
• Hopefully the home learning schedule for you will continue, so stick to those routines to help keep your children occupied and keep you sane.
• Schedule virtual chats with other members of the class and leave them to talk to one another. In my experience not a lot of conversation goes on but it’s cute nonetheless.
• Communicate any feelings you have with your school so you still feel heard. You’re not going to be in trouble for not sending your children back. Remember: your child, your choice.
• Talk about school – ask them to remember certain things about their classroom or previous learning, discuss their favourite topic or particular part of the day. This way you will continue their school journey in their minds.
• As a parent, try not to beat yourself up about the decision. Let your child know you love them. Most importantly, don’t suffer in silence. If you’re not coping or feel overwhelmed, take a breath and talk about it. These are unprecedented times and anxieties have taken new forms since all of this began. The school is not your enemy.
Most of us working there share your concerns and fears. We’re all in this together.